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Cheers: The Cliff Clavin Sound Archive
Jennifer Harper's Cheers Page

The Cliff Clavin Sound Archive

Cliff Clavin

Cliff2.wav 59k Cliff: Well look, on the face of it, this is all primafacious, noncorpus interuptus anyhow
Mr_Weenie.wav 44k Cliff (on phone): Hello, Gar? Yeah, Cliff Clavin over here at Cheers...Heyyy, that's Mr. Weenie to you pal!
Cliff1.wav 44k Cliff: Yeah, you'd never catch a woman of mine leading me around by the nose.
Carla: No, but you might catch her sunnin' herself on a rock.
homer.wav 490k Homer Simpson: Hmmm, this looks like a nice, friendly place.
Carla: Sammy, you're too old to go on a date with two twins on the same night you're supposed to marry Diane without Rebecca knowin'.
Sam: O.K. Carla, I'll make you a bet: If this affects my major league comeback, I'll sell the bar.
Norm: Woody, give me a beer.
Woody: I think you've had enough, Mr. Peterson. My chiropractor says I can't carry you home anymore.
Norm: Just give me another beer you BRAIN DEAD HICK! (breaking bottle) I'll kill ya! I'll kill all of you!
Cliff: Whoa! Settle down Normie! Gotta save those pipes for karaoke.
Homer Simpson: Huh? Aughhh! (runs away)
Norm: I love you guys. (sobs)
moot.wav 205k Cliff: The very letters "D-N-A" are an acronym for the words "Dames are Not Agressive."
Diane: They stand for dioxyribonucleic acid.
Cliff: Ah, yes, but uh parse that in the latin declention and uh my point is still moot.
timebomb.wav 79k Diane: You know, Cliff, if it is true that a little knowledge is dangerous, you are a walking time-bomb.
Cliff: Oh, thank you, Diane
caughteye.wav 73k Cliff: Of course ah, I don't mind a woman givin' me a clear signal that I caught her eye.
Carla: You mean like stickin' her finger down her throat?
outahere.wav 87k Al: Get outa here.
Cliff: What? You question my figures?
Al: No, I want you to get outa here!
tibet.wav 76k Cliff: If I hadn't seen a girl of mine in that long, I know what the first thing on her mind would be.
Carla: "How did he find me in Tibet?"
eatincrackers.wav 76k Cliff: Boy I wouldn't throw her outa my bed for eatin' crackers.
Norm: Why else would she be there?
allwomen.wav 108k Cliff: Ah, just like all women. If their not turnin' down your proposal of marriage, they're, they're accusin' you of suspicious behavior in the lingerie changin' room.
time.wav 60k Sam: What time is it?
Norm: How many beers have I had, Cliff?
Cliff: Ah...eleven.
Norm: 8:05
lab.wav 130k Cliff: Well, yeah, Carla it is uh common knowledge that I am uh scientifically handy; as a matter of fact I spent a good part of my youth in a laboratory.
Carla: And you'd still be there today if the chimpanzee hadn't taught you how to open your cage.
participating.wav 107k Cliff: So, ah, correct me if I'm wrong there Doc, but that's from the ah Machiavellian Cubist era isn't it?
Fraiser: No Cliff, but, uh, thank you for participating just the same.
kamikaze.wav 173k Norm: Well, we'll just tell him he was brave...
Cliff: Yeah, yeah like a kamikaze pilot.
Woody: Wow, I always wanted to meet one of those guys. The stories they must tell, huh?
embarass.wav 49k Cliff: That is the most embarassing display I have ever seen.

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The Diane Chambers Sound Archive

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The Diane Chambers Sound Archive

Created June 26, 1997
Copyright 1997,1998,1999, 2000 Jennifer Robin Harper

Cheers copyrights are owned by Paramount Pictures and are used here without permission.